No normal friends would like you anyways. Hell, we have a hard time liking you.

I'm writing this article for fear of my life when out with my own friends. Last evening I was out having a casual drink with Jason, and Aircraft (Nick F.), and decided to call it a night and head home around 9:15. This ended up being the best decision I ever made. Jason and Aircraft joined up with the ranks of our wonderful little dildo friend Eric "Smackface" Crapston at our favorite Crossroads Bar. After a long night of pape and rillage, it was time to call it a night and head for the house. Upon there departure from this glorious establishment they encountered a car full south huntsville's finest rednecks. What happened next is the reason why you should be able to purchase "friend insurance" from your insurance providers.

As they made there way to the car ,someone unknown at this point (most likely Jason or Nick), made a comment towards the passing car. Of course, you have to assume that the car stopped, and all the trouble began. 5 men emerged from the vehicle, 2 of which were carrying guns. Which they had pointed at our innocent (NOT!) friends.

The 3 men without guns walked over to our fellow american friends, and from there the fight began. Now our super heros frind themselves stuck between a rock, and a boner. For they fear if they fight to there potential, and victory is at hand, a shot to the back of the head will follow shortly, by the two who stood there with guns cocked. Ha...I said cock.

So in short, our friends took a short beating, some bottles to the back of the head before the bouncer from the bar broke the fight up. No shots were fired, and our super heros mad it home to fight another day. Note: Aircraft wanted to go after them, but jason, the smart, responsible, and charming young man he is, said, "Boys its time to call it a night."

With all that said, I think that I should be allowed to purchase friend insurance. If my life is at risk everytime I go out with my "friends", me or someone I know should get some kind of financial compensation upon my injury or death. For those of you that agree, please leave feedback to this story.

Note: I'm now taking resumes for normal friends.

You know those motivation posters you always see that have a stupid picture and some gay tagline about success, not giving up, etc.? Well here's a collection of some more "realistic" motivational posters that are sure to make you get off your ass and do something today!

Download*

*Note: If you have problems downloading, right-click the link and choose "Save Target As.." You gotta have Microsoft Power Point installed in order to view or you can download and install Powerpoint Viewer from microsoft.com.

I have added the ability to upload and insert an image into a news post. You can now add any image from your computer to your news post. The image will automatically be resized to fit on the homepage.

Read more in this article:
http://www.halogenantelope.com/content.php?article.7

Also, current high scores for the month for all games are listed on the main arcade page. Now you can see the current leaders all in one place. Are you on the list?

Imagine Alabama beat Auburn 12 years in a row at Jordan-Hare (I know it's impossible, but just imagine). How desperate would you be for a win? Would you claim that you would cut off your own testicles if Auburn pulled out a win? Would you actually do it?

Well in the crazy world known as England where football is played with a round ball, a Welsh man made such a claim. Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday's match he told fellow drinkers, "If Wales wins, I'll cut my balls off." Of course friends thought he was joking, until Huish went home after the game, sliced off his bad boys with a knife, and walked 200 yards back to the bar with his balls in hand to show everyone. He was then taken to the hospital and listed in serious condition.

Well, he won't be fathering any more fans...
Yahoo.com story

Ever wonder what your first name would be if you were Hawaiian, Croatian, or even Esperanto? Well then you're retarded. But if you're interested in the origins or your first name, it's popularity among new borns in past years, and a bunch of other useless information (including related names in other countries) check out Behind the Name.

I found out that January 17 is "Tony Day" in Sweden. I'll have to celebrate next year. My name (well, Anthony) ranked 10th in popularity last year. "Elmer" ranked 654, though everyone here knows it should be #1.

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, I know everyone is wondering what to get or is going to be given. So, 40 and I have devised a helpful Top 11 list to aid anyone having difficulties with their gift process.

• Number 11: A bag of pubes (Also great as a Birthday gift - Jason)
• Number 10: Chocolate-covered shards of glass (The gift that keeps on giving)
• Number 9: One dozen piss-soiled roses (Napalm style)
• Number 8: Roll of scented duck tape (comes in three scents - baby diaper, toe jam, sour puss)
• Number 7: Noose and bodybag (simple, easy to use, painless)
• Number 6: Beheaded teddy bear with blood-stained scarf (soft touch of warmth & security)
• Number 5: Shit-filled heart-shaped pastry with cum frosting (Delicious)
• Number 4: Box of condoms with undetectable pin holes (preferably coated in STDs)
• Number 3: Pregnancy test that always reads positive (That way she'll never leave you)
• Number 2: An old-fashion Hallmark card saying "Staring is mental raping. Happy Valentine's Day! Yours Truly, -"
• Number 1: A rope, a brick, and a one way ticket to the bottom of a river (If your a good swimmer, you could go visit her anytime you want)

Have a great "Fucking" Valentine's Day!!